Ness's Revenge
by yoyo person
Summary: How could he know that one little threat would cause so much trouble? Mario impersonations, ball games, break ups, new love and sparring not to mention Major Ness bashing, Not for Ness Lovers. Rated T for language and other stuff.


Disclaimer: i do not own Super Smash Brothers Meele, i fear that if i say i do i will get beaten up by lots of angry lawyers and the nintendo companies characters

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It was a bright sunny day, Ness and Young Link were playing with their toys. 

Young Link had been making fun of Ness earlier because he had seen Ness having a tea party with stuffed animals, and was about to bug him about it again when Ness shook his fist at him and said

"don't make me wail on you!"

just as he had finished his not so threatening threat Captain Falcon drove through the wall in a huge four wheel bright yellow monster truck with his face on the hood, and ran Ness over, barely stopping inches in front of Young Link.

Captain Falcon yelled out the window

"hey little guy! What do you think of my new baby?"

"I think your 'baby' just ran over Ness" Young Link answered with a grin

"really?" Captain Falcon put his huge bright yellow "baby" in reverse and in the process ran over Ness again.

Ness let out a moan, hearing Ness's moan Captain Falcon jumped out of his baby to inspect.

"OMG NESS!" Ness looked up towards the sound of his name

"LOOK WHAT YOU DID! YOU MISSALIGNED MY BABY'S WHEELS!"

Ness looked at Captain Falcon in disbelief

"I HOPE YOURE HAPPY! I JUST GOT THIS TOO!"

Ness was sitting on the floor feeling very, very sore his head was pounding and he was sure some part of his small body was broken.

"wha?" said Ness and got kicked in the face by Captain Falcon

Young Link was rolling on the floor laughing Captain Falcon got back in his precious truck and started it up. Young Link, seeing what he intended to do, ran out of the room. Ness just sat there trying to figure out what was going on, Captain Falcon drove _into _the house and ran over Ness for the third time that day, and proceeded into his room to fix his baby.

When Ness finally came to he began to limp to the Infirmary. On his way there Ness was knocked down by Mario

"ahhh Ness!" Mario said "just the person I wanted to see!"

Yelling was heard from down the hall, Mario grabbed Ness and ran in the opposite direction of the infirmary and into one of the living rooms. Mario dressed Ness up to look like himself (Mario) and gave Ness a fake mustache

"what are you doing?" Ness asked Mario

"I broke up with Peach" Mario responded "and well, she wasn't too happy, to say the least"

Ness gave Mario a weird look

"well now I'm going on a vacation for two weeks, have fun!" as he said this he put the fake mustache on Ness and ran off.

Ness stared at the spot where Mario last was, (he looked just like Mario thanks to Mario's excellent disguising skills) when an enraged Peach walked, (more like stormed) in

"MARIO!" she screamed, "I'M GOING TO KILLYOU!"

Ness turned around only to find Peach's parasol coming straight at his face, he flew backwards and into a wall. Peach continued her attack on him

"I thought you loved me!" she sobbed then punched him on the nose

"you said I was sexy!" she kicked his stomach

"you promised you would always be there for me!" she backhanded him

"YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME!" she kneed him in the groin Ness doubled over and fell to the floor

"I HATE YOU!" she screamed and then ran off crying leaving a half conscious Ness on the floor. Ness had had enough and started to get out of Mario's clothing before she came back. Just as he finished removing Mario's clothing Marth and Roy came into the room sparing with their swords. From the looks of it Marth had the upper hand, using only the tip of his sword, Roy tripped over Ness and Marth pointed his sword at Roy's neck.

"Game" Marth proudly announced.

"no fair" Roy pouted "I could have so won but this" he kicked Ness's now unconscious form "tripped me! I demand a rematch"

"fine" Marth said "even though I would have won anyways I just had to finish you off, your sword is pitiful"

Marth sheathed his sword. "I'm going to draw a circle, first one out of the circle looses and since you seem so mad at the thing you happened to trip over we'll draw around it"

"sounds good to me" Roy said sheathing his sword as well

They both started their quest for chalk, while they were gone Ness stood up and hobbled to the door only to be knocked down by a distressed Peach and a worried Zelda.

"don't worry" Zelda was comforting Peach "everything will be fine! Maybe you'll meet some cute guy on this cruise to get your mind off of Mario, well not that you could that guy is pretty unforgettable…"

Peach started to cry harder and ran out of the room and towards the front door where a coach was waiting for her and Zelda. Zelda shook her head and followed Peach out the door.

Marth and Roy returned. Roy was looking smug because he had found the chalk before Marth. Marth snatched the chalk out of Roy's hands and drew a circle around Ness's unmoving form.

"looser has to clean the other's room for a week" Roy proposed

"a week? Why not make it a month?" Marth answered

"oh you are soo on"

"good prepare to loose Mr. fire!"

"Mr. Fire?"

"yes Mr. fire, I'm water you are fire because water always beats fire!"

"not true!"

"it is too!"

"no! fire boils water which turns It to steam therefore beating water!" Roy nodded his head and grinned thinking he had won.

"for that you need help from metal you cant do it on your own, and besides if the water were to fall over the fire would be extinguished!"

"Only if it's a stove!"

By now both were standing inside the circle and on Ness

"fire is better than water!" Roy said taking out his sword

"water will always beat fire" Marth responded unsheathing his own "you need water to survive, you cant go 3 days without water or you'll die however you can go your whole life without fire" Marth smugly proclaimed

"only reason you get to be water is because your hair is blue! You got blue balls too?" Roy teased trying to hit Marth with his sword, Marth blocked and did likewise

"ugh" Marth said "we cant fight close range with swords!"

"what are you talking about? My sword is beating your ass! Who has the pathetic sword now huh?"

"really well watch this" Marth stabbed his sword straight at Roy's foot which happened to be on Ness's ass, Roy moved his foot but unfortunately Ness was still unconscious and could not move, he got ass raped by Marth's sword. Marth snatched Roy's sword from his hands and stabbed it next to his own missing Ness's reproductive organs by millimeters.

"you cheater" Roy accused Marth

"I'm not cheating" Marth answered "I'm evening the odds"

"hardy har har"

"shut up and fight me you big red chicken" Marth said throwing a punch at Roy

"at least I don't have blue balls" Roy responding blocking the punch and kicking Marth

"cant you come up with anything new you overgrown animated carrot?" Marth punched Roy's jaw

"oh yea that's real original calling a read head a carrot" Roy tried to knee Marth's groin but Marth dodged

"its better than blue balls over and over again" Marth grabbed Roy's incoming punch and twisted his fist "and to have you know I was with a girl yesterday, your mom actually, she gives good head" Marth smirked

"you did my mom? Ewww! She's ancient!" Marth took the opportunity to push a shocked and disgusted Roy out of the circle, Roy stumbled over Ness's head and fell outside of the circle (which wasn't too hard considering the circle was only four feet in diameter)

"silly rabbit trix are for kids" Marth said

Roy gave Marth a weird look. Marth grinned and walked over to Roy getting really close in a very uncomfortable position

"game" he whispered in his ear and grinned

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Well that's it for chapter one let me know what you think, Marth and Roy are very competitive in this story, there will be more Ness bashing next chapter, I actually have a plan for this fic! Woot woot! Well anyways go ahead and review I will update when I finish my next chapter. Laters! 


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